It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
