I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
