So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
My vagina just recognized that song.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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