I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
