I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
