They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
