I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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