either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
