new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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