No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
