Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Randomize
