Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
