so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
