i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
