do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
