There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
this must be what syphilis tastes like
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
