But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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