so let's talk penis.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
We left an ass print on the piano.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
