he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Everything about him screamed your future.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
