it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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