around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
