So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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