the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
