"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
