That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
