Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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