I heard we made out
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I've blown a few things in my day
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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