Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
