where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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