no. you can't hotbox the world.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
