My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
