What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
