There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
