he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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