SEEEEXXX PLEASE
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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