its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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