I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Randomize
