Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
