He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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