How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
