I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
