I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
