Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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