when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
