did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
