That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
