Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
