If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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