billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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