did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
